Tags: growth

A Bend in the Road

We are entering a new stage in our life.  Up until now we have very deliberately avoided multiple external engagements.  Since we are home all the time we try to live loosely, avoiding things that insist on our time.  However, we have now, to borrow from Anne, come to a bend in the road that we can’t quite see around but since God is involved and giving us peace we know that this is a good bend and at the very least will be interesting.
Carnegie Science Center
Recently we have made several observations.  One major one involves Esther who, it has suddenly occurred to us, loves the stage.  And when I say loves the stage I mean she adores all of the performing arts and especially being in front of a crowd.  The thing about that is that she didn’t know there was anything special about the fact that when at VBS and everyone is embarrassed at having to do very silly movements and sing an even sillier song in front everyone she happily puts her whole heart it into it, belting out the words and doing the actions perfectly.  And there are many other similar moments that we finally put together before we asked her if studying the performing arts or trying out for a play would be something she would be interested in.  She was surprised that there was even something like that out there available to her.  But she also hates being busy and likes to spend lots of time reading and with her siblings so we decided to have her attend a one week, morning only camp where they will be writing a story and lyrics for a musical, and learning basic dancing, acting, and singing to see whether she would really like to continue and if she has the talent to do it.  This will mean waking early each morning for our sleep in till noon child and me spending my mornings taking her to and from the lessons.
Carnegie Science Center
Another revelation and potential change is that our 12 year old has been watching what God is doing in her life, exploring the desires He has given her, and decided to try out some and see what she finds out.  First off is piano.  She passionately wants to learn piano and has taught herself some of the basics, enough that she feels she needs someone who knows better than I to encourage her forward.  And so she has asked the daughter of a friend of mine who plays beautifully to help her learn.  And we have decided that if she proves that she will follow through  and if God provides the money then she can take lessons in the fall when our friend goes back to college.
Rachel
Next is that she wants a job (babysitting), or two (delivering newspapers).  Now it is pretty tricky for a 12 year old girl to find a job but she has two leads as of this morning.  A friend of mine (another daughter of the same friend) delivers newspapers–lots of them, and knows the manager so said she would ask about local to us routes.  She also has two boys Esther and Issac’s age and offered right off to have Rachel stay with them while she is out delivering papers.  Of course this means more driving on my part (I like driving but not constantly and I have taken on more work projects and would prefer to be home working by my hubby.)
Swimming
A friend, who has kids who have always gone and gone and gone gave me some pointers, especially since both activities are in the same general location which means I can take some of her suggestions for things to do while I wait, and I always have a book and not enough time to read it, so that is something else.  But it is interesting to watch them grow and change and finally solidify some of their desires, or at least find ways to test them to see if that is really what they want.

Transmographacation or is it just growing up?

My kids are changing.  It is amazing to see.

At around 2 or 3 I remember recognizing that they were suddenly toddlers.  Their mannerisms suddenly changed, their abilities changed, everything changed.  Even their proportions changed  They went from sweet little baby things to miniature kids.

Issac heading to Grandma's to go hunting.
Issac heading to Grandma’s to go hunting.

At around 5 or 6 and then 7 they suddenly lengthened out and lost some baby fat and I noticed the change.  They were choosing to do things that I thought of as more grown-up.  They were choosing to read a book or watch a movie about volcanoes instead of playing cars.  They were choosing to discuss things and ask how things work instead of just playing.  They suddenly knew things and did things they had never been capable of before.  Issac is now reading to me in the evenings, from books of his choosing.  He now spontaneously does thgns for his sisters–like making their beds for them in stead of just jumping on them.

The girls wading in the pond, in APRIL!
The girls wading in the pond, in APRIL!

At around 9 I noticed a huge change.  There was more thinking and less acting out. There was more individual thought, less reliance on me.  Suddenly Mom wasn’t the highest authority on absolutely everything. More time was spent alone  reading or drawing or thinking.  More questions were being asked about how people think, act, do, about relationships.  Essie now spends a great deal of time reading and was devastated yesterday when we couldn’t fnd the next book in the series she is reading.  Being an introvert she is longing for more time to herself, to think, to dream, to read.  And when we get together she climbs up in my (or her daddy’s) lap to chat or just cuddle.

And now we are 11 (well, at least Rachel is) and things are changing again.  Where once a temper tantrum would have been par for the course (Rach is a bit high strung) she may begin to lose it and then stop and think.  She might walk away or calm herself down.  When she is frustrated she recognizes it and says so instead of flipping her lid.  Walks no longer spawn chats about how sidewalk cracks are formed but instead we talk about people and relationships and what makes a good friend, about hormones and how hard it is to be real friends when your moods change every ten seconds.  I see Rach learning acceptance of who she is as God designed her, acceptance of the health issues she has, acceptance, recognition, and frustration at being the only extrovert in a house full of introverts.  Now she takes over when I need a break, happily making meals for her siblings for fun, finding her niche in this awkward time between being grown up and a little girl.

All three are at new stages and it is a joy to see, to watch, to be with them, and to help them develop into the people God created them to be.   I am so grateful that I am able to spend time with them, know who they are as each enters this new place in life, and at this time I am choosing to spend more time rather than less with them as they ar a joy to know and be with (well, most of the time.;))

Unschooling photo journal 12

The freedom to explore,

to develop,

to learn,

to grow,

all at your own speed,

and in your own way,

comes at the cost of being different from others.

WFMW: Changing Seasons and Kids Clothes

I realize quite a lot of you have already begun this if you need to do it at all, especially all you people in the southern half of the US. For the rest of us spring and summer clothes are still in our future. This particular trick isn’t much but it makes a huge difference in our house.

We store all our off season clothes in huge Rubbermaid bins in the basement. (This was a wonderful step for us–they used to be stored in cardboard boxes and the mold and mice LOVED them.) With five of us in the family and winter temperatures in the 30′s and lower we have some heavy winter clothes so we have LOTS of bins. That isn’t the tip though though it is a good one if you have a damp basement or mice issues.

Today I was looking for some missing material and had to search all the bins to find it. Because I am a bit of a ditz when seasons change and though I do sort the kids clothes into varying sizes I often start tossing things in towards the end and the labels are pretty useless. Labeling–a good tip but not the one I am going for.

I have been, for the past month, gradually filling garbage bags with stuff we no longer need. That is a lot since Esther is built exactly opposite Rachel and other than some fairly basic items hand-me-downs no longer work out so well and Rachel is growing out of everything. So, I grabbed some garbage bags and started tossing all the stuff that had seen better days or which Rachel would barely fit into and Esther would never wear. Issac is just getting taller, much like Esther, so most of his shorts and t-shirts will still fit. In the end of my tossing spree I had filled two entire garbage bags with stuff for the thrift shop and emptied 4 bins. Tossing is not really my tip either though it is an excellent thing to do–clutter breeds more clutter.

I do this every year however this is only the second time I was smart and did the majority of the tossing while the kids were elsewhere. You see, I have some sentimental kids. Really sentimental kids. The sort that whine and cry because all their favorite things no longer fit. The sort that insist that every, single, thing that no longer fits be stored away for their own children. I used to be like that too–which is why we moved box after box of stuff I thought I would need only to find that they were never the right season or style. Nope. I keep a few favorites–ones that they really love and that we associate with their childhood–the rest get put back into use at the thrift shop while the kids are happily occupied elsewhere. That is part of the tip–sort through the seasonal stuff before the kids see it so you can eliminate the worst of it.

Once it warms up a bit (warmer than 45, hopefully nearer to 55 on a consistent basis) I will drag the bins upstairs and set up shop. I grab a small tablet or scrap paper and make a whole slew of tickets based on what the kids will need for the next season. For instance–since we stay home most of the week and homechurch the kids only need a few “going places” outfits. They need a few “dress” outfits. Then they need enough play outfits to last one week. So lets say they need to have one play coat, one dress coat, a sweatshirt, several t-shirts, several pairs of shorts–whatever. (Think “packing”–I figure out what they need the same way I pack for a trip–they only need a week or so worth of clothing but it all needs to work together.) Once I figure out how many of each clothing item the kids need I make a ticket for each item, hand them the tickets and have them “shop”.

They each have their bin full of clothes–some too big, some too small (I have hopefully eliminated the worst offenders). As they dig through and try things on they keep in mind the tickets they have and what they can buy. They need to make sure each thing they choose to keep fits and works with everything else they choose to keep and each outfit has to be run by mom. When they choose to “buy” something they bring me the ticket and the items and I check them. After they use a ticket they can’t use it again. Occasionally this comes down to some painful choices but it is teaching them to “spend” wisely and allows them the freedom to choose what they want to keep and keeps the clutter and “clean clothes in the dirty laundry”at bay. It also gives me an accurate picture of what each kid has and what they need–for instance Rachel only has a few things that will fit and will instead use her tickets to help us track what I need to buy her at the thrift shop. Have the kids “shop” for their clothes among what they have– that is the rest of tip.

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