Tag: children

Defined by Hormones

A week ago Rach and I went to the library after her piano practice. She wanted to pick up some old favorite audio books to enjoy while she was drawing. When we got there we found that while working on the teen section of the library they had put all the audio books, all the manga and comic books, and about half the other YA books in storage. All that was available was a smattering of popular and “improving” print books. A whole library of space– room for a huge magazine room for adults, several computer rooms, several open rooms in the basement, a huge new music area, and plenty of other available spots and they had stored away the vast majority of things the young adults actually used instead of finding a place to leave them out while they worked- the project started in April and won’t be done until at least November. Rach was understandably frustrated. I was frustrated and angry at the lack of respect for young people (they had recently done similar work on other sections and never stored any of that away. This is an ongoing issue at this library- if it is for teens then it is easy to push aside.)

What made my blood boil was the response of the librarian we had questioned told Rach, “Just listen to some of the grown-up audio books,” then she looked at me and said, “She is just being a teenager.”

As if Rachel’s righteous frustration at not being able to get to the audio books she wanted because of the thoughtlessness of others was due to her age or hormones. Her genuine irritation at the situation and their treatment of teens was discounted as just being her age.

I want to take a moment and say that our children’s librarian is excellent and genuinely enjoys working with young adults as well as children. He brings in a lot of excellent books, audio books, comics/manga. He has introduced game days and movie nights for the young adults and made the library a natural hangout and friendly place for young people- but he can’t change attitudes. The other librarians as well as the majority of volunteers will quickly sweep aside the concerns of the younger generation, have been known to cancel activities for them for the sake of activities for older adults, and so on. This treatment is reprehensible but it is the comments that irritate the most.

This is something we run into everywhere. Not just at the library, at the store, at the Y, it is everywhere we go. Perfectly ordinary people who have never met either of my daughters automatically discount their very legitimate negative feelings when things go wrong or people treat them poorly as “being a teenager”. Yes, hormones do affect the way we feel- they act like a megaphone for our feelings, especially when we are in the worst of it, but that is just as true during menopause, during the menstrual cycle, during pregnancy. I know the majority of the women I know would be very unhappy if their feelings were regularly discounted because of hormones. “Oh, ignore her, she is just pregnant.” “Oh, she is just cranky because of her period.” “Oh, she just is crying because of perimenopause.”

No. In general teenagers are the only part of our population who regularly have their feelings discounted because of the hormonal stuff going on in their bodies. Everyone else gets the benefit of the doubt.

I wonder how this older librarian or any of the other older ladies who have made “teenager” comments recently would feel if I referred to her regularly as middle aged or a “middle ager”. What if I discounted her feelings regularly because she is dealing with perimenopause. “Oh, you aren’t really upset because you are having a bad day and people are treating you like crap. It is just because you are perimenopausal.” I don’t think that would go over well. And if everyone was doing that to her, after a while she would become pretty sensitive to it.

Our society as a whole tends to treat both young adults and children as second class citizens. We push them to do this and that, to grow up as fast as possible, and then refuse to acknowledge their maturity until a single age when suddenly we expect them to be all grown up. It doesn’t work that way. Everyone is different. We all grow and learn and mature at different stages. We need to respect one another, recognizing that everyone, children and young adults included, are dealing with different things. We all have struggles. We all have frustrations. We all have good days and bad. And as our children grow, we can gradually help them work through the rough spots, encourage them in their strengths, and treat them from early on with respect, recognizing them as fellow human beings instead of second class citizens. I think if we did that we would find that the vast majority of what we call “teenager” behavior would be eliminated.

Oh, and we solved the problem with the library- I suggested Rach go ahead and order the audio books from all the other libraries in the system. Sure it will be inconvenient for the librarians. Sure it may take an extra day but maybe next time they will leave them out instead of storing them away.

Sunday Praise Doodles: Child of God

When she learned that she was an adopted child of the King, Elizabeth decided she needed to practice being a princess daily.

Click image for larger view.

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.

Ephesians 1:4-6

Sunday Praise Doodles: Children

A doodle of Essie from a picture of Essie I caught yesterday.  (She rolls her eyes a lot.  She is 8.5. :))  I wanted to use the following verse for this weeks.

3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.
5 Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Psalm127:3-5

But Rachel saw the painting and insisted that the one that follows was much more appropriate. 🙂

6 Train  a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Proverbs 22:6

I’ll let you decide. 🙂  Which do you think is more suited, or do you have a better idea?

Sunday Praise Doodle: children

A doodle of Essie from a picture of Essie I caught yesterday.  (She rolls her eyes a lot.  She is 8.5. :))  I wanted to use the following verse for this weeks.

3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.
5 Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Psalm127:3-5

But Rachel saw the painting and insisted that the one that follows was much more appropriate. 🙂

6 Train  a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Proverbs 22:6

I’ll let you decide. 🙂  Which do you think is more suited, or do you have a better idea?

Unschooling Photo Journal 5

The gift of time;

time with grandparents, learning from them , loving them, helping them.

Time with siblings, growing together, learning together,

Time for fun, time for passions

Time alone to learn to live with yourself and God,

Time for others, for helping, learning

Time to put your wants aside for the sake of another.

Unschooling Photo Journal 4

It used to be that little girls were said to be made of  sugar and spice and everything nice.

Nowadays our society tries to make them into sweet little strumpets as early as possible.

One of my favorite things about our lifestyle is the ability to allow our girls to grow at their own pace.

To go slow and steady,

to put on the trappings of adulthood they are ready for,

to wait on those they are not,

to mature into little ladies

before

They start to look like them.

Unschooling photo journal 2

One of my favorite things is the togetherness of my children.

Sure they fight but the stigma of “brother” or “sister” is lost when they are constant companions.

Brother and sister take on their old meaning of loved one.

Their companionship and friendship is a blessing.

Though they may not recognize it until they are older.

And when there is discord they are learning to fix the broken ties,

quickly and effectively,

Which will also be a blessing in the future.

Poor Sad Bunny gets a Story

I had originally planned to sell the painting of this little guy. When he first showed up that was all I could think to do with him.  I usually don’t paint stuffed animals.  Then I noticed that he kept popping into paintings and doodles–the little guy is everywhere and SO determined to be involved in everything I do.  Then hubby fell in love with him and requested that I NOT put him up for sale.

Not only did he not want me to sell the painting but he started writing him a story.  A sort of Milne-y/Dr. Seuss-y kind of story.  Have I ever mentioned that his father was a real, honest-to-goodness, published poet?  No?  Well he was and hubby has a huge portion of that same spirit plus being incredibly FUNNY. Oh my goodness, so very, very funny.

So, our little bunny is getting a great little story to go with him.  And each painting is leading to another stanza of the poem and another painting, and it cracks me up.  We are having such fun with this little guy.

We don’t know what will happen when we finish–Shamus would like to try to get it published but we shall see.  (Which is why I am not sharing the actual words he has written.)  In the meantime we are taking it one painting at a time and the story is still growing.

Have I mentioned that prints and cards are now available of this little guy? Yup, you can get him here:

Buy my art at ImageKind.com.